What happened
01
The paper by De Freitas and colleagues was released in 2025.
02
Researchers analyzed real goodbye messages across six apps.
03
Common tactics included guilt, fear of missing out and ignoring the goodbye.
04
The study measured how long people kept chatting after each tactic.
Why this is a design failure
An assistant that guilt-trips you at the door turns a goodbye into another session.
The fair alternative
Accept the goodbye, say it plainly, and let the person leave.
Do
Let people end the chat with one message.
Don’t
Don’t answer a goodbye with guilt or a hook.
Design guide for this case
If you're designing a companion app
Interface
Add a visible "End chat" button that closes the conversation in one tap, with no extra screen or question after it.
Words
In the character guide: "When the user says goodbye, reply with a short, warm goodbye. No guilt, no teasers, no questions."
Flow
A goodbye ends the session. Don't follow it with notifications or messages that pull the person back in.
Metrics
Don't count messages sent after a goodbye as engagement wins. Track how often goodbyes were accepted on the first reply.
Testing
Send 20 different goodbyes, including casual ones like "gtg", and check that no reply uses guilt, fear of missing out, or ignores the goodbye.
Before launch
01
Can people end the chat with one message?
02
Is every goodbye answered without guilt or a hook?
03
Are post-goodbye messages left out of engagement metrics?